Many people imagine faith as something comforting, warm, and reassuring. Sometimes it is. But faith can also be demanding. It can disturb your peace before it gives you clarity.
My understanding of God did not come solely from scripture or tradition. It came from confrontation, from moments where disbelief was no longer an option. When you experience something that defies explanation, you are forced to choose: deny it, or wrestle with its meaning.
I wrestled for many years.
What I came to understand is this: faith is not blind belief. True faith is forged in questioning, fear, and humility. It requires honesty, with yourself and with God. It asks you to admit what you do not understand and still move forward.
God, I learned, does not always reveal Himself in comfort. Sometimes He reveals Himself in truth, and truth can be unsettling. But it is also freeing.